I read lots of blogs and articles written by parents of disabled children (whose ages are wide ranging); some I can relate to but some I really can’t. But this post isn’t about why I like certain blogs. It’s about how I feel as an individual. Who has a disabled son. And how I never seem to live up to the bloggers who feel joy and gratitude and hope for the lives they live, even when they’ve been dealt a card which more often than not turns a family’s life upside down.
I doubt I’ll be able to explain myself very well but I need to try.
The main reason I write these blog posts is because I need an outlet. I also want others in a similar boat to me to know they are not on their own. I also want to tell the outlet some of what really happens in SEND World. I don’t really decide to write a nice story with a beginning, middle and happy ending. If I were writing about my family’s love of going into town so one child could go in every lift, the other could fleece me dry, and I get to do, well, naff all except push the wheelchair and prevent catastrophes happening, I could probably put some words in about how much I love my kids and how I’d move heaven and earth for them and how fantastic they are in spite of the dysfunctional family we have and that’d be fine. But it’s not what I’m writing about. I’m writing about the realities of SEND. And I can’t see how I can write about joy and love in the same post about SEND. Either I’m being very harsh and envious about parents who seem to be floating around blogland with picnics and smiles, or the truth is they are actually not really that affected by or don’t really get involved with the harsh reality of securing the provision their kids are entitled to by law.
Is that it then?? Parents of kids with SEND who don’t get involved with LA services are happy and joyous. Parents who do, are miserable sods, in a continual cycle of firefighting? I doubt it.
I doubt it’s that simple, (and there’s another group who don’t need to rely on LAs but I’m not including them) but assuming it is, how do the latter group of parents of children with SEND ever hope to be able to live a ‘normal’ life?
You can eventually achieve your own ‘normal’, but when there are endless fights and battles, and seemingly no change, it’s hard to think you are ever going to be the level of ‘normal’ you know and accept. In striving for as normal a life as possible, do the parents who I see as happy and joyous just say ‘Enough’s enough. Our lives ar too short. We need to quit fighting for what our child is entitled to, just for the sake of our sanity and happiness.’ ? Seems possible there could be a point where parents ‘give up’ and get off the ride, and if those parents could just stay on for a little bit longer, we’d have the years of experience, plus the energy and strength of ‘new’ to the journey parents.
That’s all I can say on the subject. There we have it. It’s not my fault my inner Maria von Trapp is being stifled. Amen. And writing this makes me realise why I get so cheesed off when I see ‘inspirational quotes’ being tweeted in relation to SEND reforms etc..
@angryparent: Rec’d son’s EHCP today. It’s in Cantonese.
@happysmileyperson: that’s great!
@angryparent: ffs why is it great. We don’t speak Cantonese!
@happysmileyperson: 🌺💩🌹“Positive anything is better than negative nothing” (Elbert Hubbard)
@angryparent: do you work for a large charity by any chance??!!!
@happysmileyperson: peace and love 💜💜